Sarah's Smile

To Thine Own Self Be True.

This is Sarah. I called her Peaches for most of her life. She is my oldest daughter, and tomorrow she is leaving the nest. Sarah is one of the three most creative and beautiful things I've contributed to this world, the other two are Natalie and Daniel. The launch of Sarah toward the outer moons of Jupiter will be less than 24 hours from now. I taught my children to always shoot for the moon, that way if they fell short they would still land among the stars. Sarah will be her own planet and will live among the stars. It has been an emotionally laden week for me, accepting this beautiful child as a Woman. But, accepting her into the realm of Wise and Mystical Women, I have done.

Gone are the days of Oreo crumbs on a toothless Sarah face (until she is in her 90's). Gone are the milk filled cereal bowls that laden the counter after a mad dash to class and then work. Gone are the moments of seeing her awaken smiling and energetic and ready for the day(unless she spent nearly 7 hours the day before trying to get a hitch for a trailer on her car).

It is easy to get mired down in the illusion of what I am losing. Having Children fulfills the old adage "Act Locally, Think Globally." It is now time to pay homage to the second thought in that phrase.

Dear Father God, Earth Mother,brothers, sisters and the entire Heavenly Realm,

Bless my daughter Sarah.
May she always know her Value through her virtue.
May she always know her Power through living the Truth.
May she always know Love through the abundant kindness of family, friends and strangers.
May she always know Peace through her Faith in God's Outrageously Loving plan for her life.
May she always know Abundance through her ability to receive God's good.
May she always know Creativity through her expression of Spirit.
May you be with her always and in all ways.
I release her into Your loving hands, and I thank you for the Gift of Sarah.
I have been honored to be her mother, and now I am honored to be her friend.
With great love and gratitude,
XOXOX
Laurie

When Sarah was 10 years old she entered a poetry contest. It was a bold move for such a quiet little girl. Little did I know, that in her stillness a great depth was being created.

When My Imagination

When my imagination takes me by the mind,
It leads me off
so far,
so fast,
My body's left behind.
It is there that I am most myself,
Lost in a wish and dream,
And coming back I realize,
I'm more than I might seem.
-Sarah M-V age 10, 1999

Indeed, Sarah, you are far more than I ever imagined.
Create the living art of your life with your dreams, Sweetie.
I am always here when you need or want me.
May God and Legions upon Legions upon Legions of His loving angels guard and guide you in all things.
Love You with All My Heart Peaches,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
A little gift to help you remember:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MY1Fx5bDiXY
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aev-dM7YhvE
Mom(my)

Purple Haze

My living room is deep purple all the way up to the cathedral ceiling. Majestic Purple to be exact.
On one wall in my living room is a sign that reads:
"Peace To All Who Enter Here".

Beneath the sign is a leather mask of an african woman, a hand sculpted and raku'ed face of King Arthur, a pencil drawing of an angel, a hand-carved wooden face of Bob Marley complete with a blunt in his lips, a wooden picture of Buddha, and a ceramic cross I made in 4th grade. The most important thing on that wall is the mirror that hangs amidst all the other faces.

I dreamt of a home that would be a safe haven for all who enter for many years. Seven years ago I bought this house, and last year I made it a home, complete with the pledge to serve the highest good for all who enter. The oath I took was originally for my children, as I committed to becoming the best mommy I could possibly be. Recently I realized, the best way for me to asssure the safety of all who enter, was to make sure I felt safe. Taking responsibility for assuring my own safety became a task that at times felt overwhelming. I had to own my willingness to be unkind to myself, and my high threshold for unkindness from others. When I realized what I needed to manifest peace in my life, peace began to plant it's very own seeds around me. With very little physical effort from me, the peace seedlings took root, and started to grow. What a beautiful sight to behold- a home where laughter is free, compassion is a given, and respect is the sacred commerce we exchange. As individuals our light's began to burn brighter, and more confidently. As a family, our light became a beacon attracting others. We haven't had cable in 3 years, but we have learned each others uniqueness. Music streams from bedrooms and the living room, and dancing is permissable in any space in the house. We have come to understand that it is a sacred honor to know someone, understand their sensitive issues, and create loving ways to support each other on our individual paths. When you let someone into your world and let them know the things that are unhealed and sore to you, you inevitably make yourself vulnerable. Holding their weaknesses with love in your hearts and arms is a privilege. Using that weakness as a weapon against them is an abuse of power, and sacrilege to me.
I have been guilty of this sacrilege before. I am acutely aware of the devastating effects of this behavior. Being committed to honoring and securing the emotional safety of those I love, including me, is no longer optional, but has become a commandment in my life. I will not laugh at someone when they are sharing the depth of their wounds, I will cry with them. I will not wield their weakness against them, I will assist them in protecting themselves from the very things they are weakest to. I will not manipulate them into embarassment for power, but will hold their intimate life details as sacred as I hold my own. Unfortunately, I had to witness several people I deeply loved become collateral damage to my unsacred use of power. Fortunately I learned the lesson.

I am human. I desire to be the perfect mother, the perfect friend, the perfect version of the divine me. Alas, it is likely that I will not always succeed. I have learned the value of choosing carefully those who I allow into my sacred story. I have witnessed the damage of gossip, and felt convicted because I have been the gossiper before. I have experienced the pain of sarcasm, and felt convicted because I have wielded that weapon far too many times myself. I have witnessed the disenchanting pain by an abuse of leadership power, feeling chastised myself for having been the one making less than healed decisions as a leader. I am subject to the same temptations and reactions as the next person. More often than not, now, I choose to be honoring of each person's journey. This includes my children and myself. I become a lovingly protective mother bear when it comes to my children, and I am learning that it is just as important to protect myself with the same vehemence.

I can honor someone else's journey by witnessing the choices they live their lives by. But that doesn't mean I have to let them in my house. Knowing my sacred story, or the sacred story of my children is a privilege. I can control how I respect the people in my home, but I have no control over how others portray their version of respect. Those I trust to show compassion, understanding, kindness and sincerity are invited in. All others are directed to the closest homeless shelter.

I am done confusing kindness with stupidity. Tough lesson, but I have mastered it.

Wishing you only compassion and honoring on your journey,
Love,
Laurie

Chasing the Wind

Good Morning Beloved One's!

Recently I have heard several people state that hell is this life. In the past, I have made comments similar to this. A very wise woman in my life made a statement last night that sowed a seed of thought in my mind, and overnight the seed has flourished.

I believe that we as souls are in constant communion with God before we take our earthbound assignment. In God's presence only good can prevail. A less than wise soul may forget to have gratitude in the midst of such spiritual, emotional, mental and energetic opulance. Perhaps life as a human is our souls way of remembering gratitude.
This is the information I received:
Life is a memory. An awakening of the truthful sacred nature of God, revealed to itself. We are a part of God. and when we remember His truthful sacred nature, we remember our very own. The experience of living as a human is an awakened remembrance. The moment of remembering is your life. The soul awakens in a human body, stretches and yawns. What happened? What is this matter that surrounds my light? Where am I?
You are human dear child.
Hey, wait a minute, I am part of the light. How can I be human?
You needed to remember who you are.

So we find ourselves on island earth. Remembering our magnificence as one with the Light, one with God is our journey. Re-owning the gratitude filled ecstasy of being one with the All is our destiny.

Slowly we remember. Truth breeds joy in our hearts, and beckons us forward. If we have been living a life of human agenda, the truth may seem uncomfortable. The discomfort dissipates as we release our attachment to our human agenda, and surrender to the wisdom of kindness. It is only in the presence of spiritual kindness and stillness that we see the truth transform our discomfort into relief. It is enough to just be. We are worthy of kindness, we are worthy of truth, we are worthy of love. The compensation for this human experience is a joy laden, peaceful journey. Looking for peace from a less than grateful space, is like chasing the wind. (Ecclesiastes 4:4-6). Release, Surrender, Breathe. Release, Surrender, Breathe. Release, Surrender, Breathe.
It's all going to be ok. Actually, remembering our truth delivers us to a life which surpasses our wildest dreams.

Remembering your holiest self until you remember for you,
Love,
XOX
Laurie

Winter's Inheritance

Howdy ya'all!
I hope this note finds you happy and prosperous.

There is a small section on this page which has information "about me" on it. I share my love of trees in that area. I have always been amazed with the thrival of tree's during winter's chill. This year it has gone way past chill into frigid. The tree's lose their leaves in Autumn, appearing skeleton-like and lifeless until Spring. As the weather warms, the tree's become obviously abundant with life. The new buds and limb growth seem effortless as they are bathed in sunlight and warmth. Perceiving the life of a tree in winter requires imagination. The tree is sustained through the cold and sun-challenged times. Sap still flows, and the greatest testimony of the life remaining in the tree is underground. The roots are what keep it alive. Often in our lives it is easier to see the joy in life when things are going as we desire them to go. It is during the times when life seems it's bleakest that we must receive the flow of joy into our experiences. Sometimes it takes a great deal of imagination to find the joy so that we can see it. The tree's know they are cared for, they simply receive during the harshest and most challenging times of the year. So it is for us humans, when we learn to let go and allow. It is our divine birthright to thrive through the seemingly desolate periods of our lives, and even prosper.

When I think about inheritance, I used to always think of death. In our society, traditionally, we get an inheritance after someone dies. This has not always been the norm globally. In the old and new testament, many young people received their inheritance while their parents were still living. A living inheritance so to speak. This is a part of our divine birthright as children of the everliving God. We need not wait until death or difficulty challenges us, to embrace and own what is destined as our very own. We are free to claim it's abundance, health and well-being with every breath. It is through our choice, and then our thoughts that we take ownership of the universal inheritance which is ours.
Imagine that there is a cosmic bank account in our individual names, which is constantly being filled with infinite abundance. Abundance in health, abundance in money, abundance in love, abundance in peace, abundance in joy, abundance in playfulness, abundance in time. Now realize that it exists in all ways, including our imagination. Our imagination is only the key to help us understand it's presence. We hold the bank account access cards in our hearts. We can use it as often as we choose, and it will remain overflowing with what we need and must have. In this account there is always more than enough. We only need to see ourselves as worthy, and we are.
Nature proves that prospering even in the illusion of lack is not only possible but is mandated by the greatest and most loving power in the universe. When we expect little we get little. When we expect "just enough to get by" that's all we get. When we expect to be spoiled in every which way possible as a child of the King, then that is the abundance we experience. If God is a king and we are his children, doesn't that make us all royal prince's and princesses? Get out your tiarra's and wear them proudly!

We can claim winter's inheritance, and see it manifest before our eyes every moment of our lives. It is our option, and it is just a belief away.

Be Resplendantly You!
Love, Truth and Harmony,
XOX
Laurie
Please Watch- www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzPqJA-Hkd4

Affordable Housing

These are the times that we can shine! We can all be Anthony Robbins'es and Dr. Wayne Dwyer.
Abundance is our birthright. Manifestation is God's reflection in our lives. Dream a life beyond your wildest dreams, and then wake up to it's reality!
Love and Light,
Laurie

Fish Sammiches

Happy Valentines Day Everyone!
(How is she going to connect fish sandwiches with Valentine's Day they wonder?Hhhmmmmm. Let's find out.)

My last letter to the world referred to the 10 commandments. I've been thinking about how I surrender to God's commands in my life. God's Top Ten Hit's were given to Mose's in the old testament. Jesus came and simplified it into : Love God with your whole heart, and Love your neighbor as yourself. Aye, there's the rub. We have to love ourselves before we can love another. It is only within the light of understanding of our very own self that we see with compassion the truth of those around us. The greater our ability to love and accept ourselves the greater our ability to love and accept each other. The aspect of self love that combines these two themes is honoring God's voice within us. He directly commands each of our hearts with every beat.

We are abundantly blessed with guidance, when we look for it. The more we seek it out, the more we find it. The loudest messenger for me is my intuition. Understanding that God's voice is what commands my intuition was a great gift to me. God speaks to our hearts perpetually. Like attracts like, and love seeks out love. The God within us communicates with itself, and if we listen carefully, we can eaves drop on His thoughts. It is an honor to be still and quiet long enough to hear Him. His will trickles into our consciousness through paying attention to our intuition. Our intuition is a directive from God's conversation with Hisveryownself. At first glance, this looks like risky business.

Seriously, Laurie? We can hear God's thoughts? Of course!
He is always with us, how can we not hear His conversations? When we tune our spiritual ears into His "knowingness" within us, we can have a two way conversation with the Big Man Upstairs. Remember a time in your life where you "overheard" conversations, and ended up with information in your head that you had not asked for. This is exactly how it happens. But with God, because of the "Free Will" clause in our contract, we have to request the ability to hear and then listen to Him.

Remember the old TV sets with the rabbit ears? I do, if you don't then you probably can text blindfolded and with one hand. Back in the olden days, TV's had two antennae that you had to adjust to pick up TV broadcasts. They could be arranged to get the best reception. This is how it works for me. I adjust my spiritual antennae, until I can hear Him the best and tune into that frequency. Being open to hearing Him allows me to tune in at will, which is most of the time. My intuition is pretty good, because I am getting constant Divinely Downloaded Information into my minds hard drive. I trust God with and for everything, because of this I trust the information He gives me. My intuition guides my life choices.

The trick here is quieting our minds and our lives long enough so we can tune into His voice. Hearing him is not tough, being still and quiet can be the challenge. I am an ordinary person who has chosen an extraordinary life. Each of us is offered the gift of experiencing the miraculous, but we have to be looking for it. Like the psychological theory of self-fulfilling prophecy, we find what we are looking for. I continue to seek out the amazing and miraculous and that is what I experience in my life.

I think of the ordinary young boy who was on the mountainside with Jesus, when the 4,000 people gathered there got hungry. This lad had a seven loaves of bread "and a few small fish." Jesus told the crowd to sit down on the ground, He gave thanks, and then the disciples started handing out the fish sammiches-minus the tartar sauce. Jesus knew that extraordinary was possible with ordinary ingredients. He believed it, and it manifested. That young boy must've been blown away with what he witnessed. They were his loaves and his fish, just enough to feed his small family, yet they fed 4,000 people, and there were left-overs. Doggie bag anyone? How empowering for a child to hear and see such a thing first-hand.

We tend to think that only highly spiritual people can commune with God or that only spiritually evolved people create miracles. We all contribute our ordinary-ness, and through the gift of Grace, our stuff comes out as miraculous. Listening to God's voice, is a personal commanding of our journey. When we honor our sacred "knowing", we honor God. When we love ourselves because of our ordinariness, we love God. When we accept ourselves, embracing our truths, no matter how beautiful we are, we join God on Love's sacred journey. Is it more miraculous to believe the less than beautiful truths about ourselves, or perhaps, is it more miraculous to believe we are magnificent, radiant and beautiful Children of The King? Our light and our brilliance is the miraculous truth. When we cling to this knowing of ourselves, then we are empowered to shine miracles into reality.

May we all experience the beauty of who we truly are, and shine our God-light in the less than pretty areas of our lives. Once the dreamer realizes the dream is but a ray of light away, he becomes his dream. Cinderella was right. The dreams that we wish WILL come true.

Shoot for the moon, that way if you fall short, you'll still land among the stars!Hugs and Kisses,
Laurie

Thanks to Unity Christ Church, Myrtle Beach South Carolina, Marianne Williamson, Anthony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dwyer, Moses, Jesus, The 10 Commandments, Manifesting Abundance, Manifesting Prosperity, Prosperity Thinking, Thrival Arts,
Hearing God.

Can you validate my parking ticket?

'Sup? It's Friday and we are going into a weekend celebration of Love. I pray that you all feel how loved and precious you truly are.

Having this human experience, as a spiritual being can be very challenging. We are asked to walk faithfully in the Light of Truth, in a world whose vision is easily obscured by the illusion of darkness. I suspect that this is one of the reasons there is more than one human on this planet. We need validation, and we look outside ourselves to find it. Truly, it is best that we master the art of validating ourselves, which can be a lengthy process. Unless we were blessed with an extraordinarily healthy upbringing, we have to learn this technique. Thank God, that in His infinite wisdom, He has provided us with safety nets of validation outside of ourselves. While adopting a new behavior, often we have to "fake it 'til we make it"( Thank You Kimberly!).

I had a conversation with Moses this morning. Yes, The Moses. The one from the Bible, the dividing the Red Sea Guy. I was lamenting to God about my need for physical validation in my life regarding my Destiny. I was asking for clear signs about the path He wants me to walk. Confessing to God that I was insecure, seemed silly. That's when Moses showed up. Moses explained that he needed to see a burning bush in order to get the message. He also needed physical proof, or validation that he was doing the right and perfect thing. Moses also relayed the story of how he received the 10 commandments Twice. Yep, Twice. He was called up onto Mt. Sinai and received the first set of tablets from God. God had carved the rock, chiseled the messages onto both sides , and then gave the two tablets to Moses. Moses carried the stone tablets down the mountain, and upon his return to the Israelites, he threw them down in disgust and broke them. God called Moses up to Mt. Sinai again. This time God told Moses to carve the tablets from the stone, and then God re-wrote the commandments upon them.
Moses was so intent on validating his own Truth, that he carried 2 stone tablets down a mountainside Twice. He wanted the truth to be validated by the children of Israel. Moses wanted them to see it for themselves. He wanted them to validate what he had experienced. Sharing the Truth was commanded by God, yet it involved risking Moses' very own life.
Climbing a down a mountain with a backpack can be a treacherous journey. Climbing down a mountain carrying 2 stone tablets bearing the signature of God must have seemed near impossible. Moses succeeded. God provided Moses the messenger with safe passage in delivering the message to it's destiny.

We each have a divine message. Every message deserves to be validated. Even if our own agenda interferes with the delivery of the message, Destiny will prevail.
God will be heard.
Truth will be known.
We are the messengers.
This is our Destiny.

Blessings of Love and Light,
XOX
Laurie

Playground Etiquette

Hi Friends!

Midweek has struck and I am not so quietly reminded the value of playtime. As an adult, responsibility and obligation often replace our youthful agenda of joy. Having been an RN for 25 years has taught me a great deal about the difference between children and adults. Children have not had the will to live beat out of them by life. Adults surrender their will to live along with their desire to hang upside down from the monkey bars.

The monkey bars were always the most difficult adventure for me on the playground. We are taught as children that the things we work the hardest for are the very things we cherish the most. I loved having the strength to get my legs and butt up over my head so that I could hang from my knees. The view of the world was different with my shirt in my face. Everything took on a carnival-like dimension upside-down. The perspective was different and I cherished it. I have come to the awareness that hard work and strife are not always the precursors to reward. We are worthy of God's Universal abundance because we are His creation.

I was thinking about the infinite Creative Nature of God. I imagined God as He/She created the Universe. As an artist, I understand the joy He must have felt. Creativity expressed yields more creativity. Creative Expression is Joy Manifest. In the beginning God made heaven and earth. And He saw that it was good. He must've gotten into a really creative groove, because He kept on creating right down to the very essence of the very atoms that combine to become each one of us. He loved long and hard, and expressed His Spirit in the masterful series of microscopic events that make our lives a sacred destiny. He continues to create to this very day, and He seeks our companionship and thoughts to influence His continual creation. God is, always has been, always will be. God lives in all that is. So the God that was present at the initial creative burst, as accounted in Genesis, is the God which resides within me. It is the same God which makes up all parts of me. Therefore, the most real and creative aspects of myself were present at the Genesis. I am the creator and the creation. The Earth was given as a playground of love, and mystery. Joy is the etiquette on our earth home's playground. God is quite playful and adventurous , as you can tell by the stories told in the Bible, and just by listening to the stories we tell each other. We live on playground Earth. The charm of playfulness should be registered as one of our most precious commodities. We choose every moment as to how much we are willing to embrace this priceless opportunity. Shall I fly a kite, or update my resume? Shall I buy ribbons for my hair or staples? Shall I laugh at my own jokes, or pretend I don't see creations magnificence in my humanity?

Always choose the joyfilled path. It will reliably lead you Home.
Blow bubbles, wish on a star, see your beauty.
With great Love,
XOX
Laurie

Earnest goes to God

Good Morning my friends. I pray you are well, and smiling at this very moment.
There is something that has been on my mind for a while now, and I trust that it is time for me to share it. I will be gentle, and careful in expressing it. It may be a new way of seeing things for some. It may be an old way of looking at things for others. It may challenge you. My intention is to share what I know to be true. It is your choice as to what you do with this information.

I studied in Israel when I was 17. Hod ha'Sharon was my home, and I was with an organization called High School in Israel. The bible was our textbook. The country of Israel was our classroom. It was a life-altering experience for me, and I will treasure it's gifts for eternity. I became very familiar with the bible, as an Orthodox Rabbi was my teacher. We even studied the new testament, and I was in Bethlehem on Christmas Eve in 1980. It was *****Magical*****!

There is a bibilical philosphy that weaves itself through every fiber of thought and belief within me. It is found in Hebrews 11:6, Deuteronomy 4:29, Proverbs 2:1-6, Matthew 7:7-11, John 14:21. The message is captured in Jeremiah 29:13:
You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with your heart.

I believe the bible is truth. I also believe that God cannot be explained or described in one book. God is much grander than the bible. Yet, without a bible, and simply an earnest heart, we can know the magnitude of God in a very real and personal way. The verses listed above reiterate this message. We are repeatedly reassured that all we need is an earnest heart seeking Him.

We are also told repeatedly not to judge one another. Job 13 & 14 has a beautiful way of describing this. Jesus reminds us also, Judge not lest ye be judged.

So we are not to judge each others search for God, or Truth. We have become self-proclaimed experts at seeing anyone who's spiritual path is different than our own as being wrong. My dear fellow humans, different does not mean wrong. It is our God given birthright to choose how we live our lives. This is called free will. We can choose to look for God, to deny Him, or to ignore Him. Yes, this is our choice, and we are given it freely. We are honored by God, with this choice.

People have found God on a piece of french toast, a watermark on a stuccoed wall, a stain in a sink, ink on a paper, colors in the sky, the random patterns in tiles, in someone else and within their own hearts. We are guaranteed that if we seek Him, He will show Hisveryownself to us, and we will find Him. This is an eternal warranty.

So we see our african american sister in her meditation room, surrounded by crystals, crosses and the Star of David. Statues of Buddha, Quan Yin, Mother Mary, Jesus and Mohammad fill the shelf space in the nook. Quotes by Gandhi, Christ, Thich Hat Nanh, ML King, Rumi, Mohammed, Buddha, Proverbs, Job, Solomon and Einstein cover the walls. A candle is lit. She sits still and quiet and goes within in her very own heart.
She has found God. They meet in her heart and embrace. She shares experiences, He shares truth. They see the breathless beauty in one another, and realize that they are only a reflection of each other's Light.

Does she have a personal relationship with God? Absolutely.

Do we encourage her to seek Him out? Yes, the bible encourages us to.

Do we judge the path she needed to walk to find Him? It is only God's place to judge her journey, for He has walked every step with her in her heart.

Do we envision a world where we trust that every earnest journey to find God is a Holy One?
Yes, every second, of every minute of every day. And then we celebrate all paths. They will reveal the truth to the pioneers that walk them. The more we honor the God within each other, the more readily the Truth will be found, embraced and shared on Earth as it is in Heaven.

May we join together in experiencing life, and truth.
We Are One.
XOX
Laurie

Improving the Flavor of Crow

Hi World!

Hope you are being kind to you. Hope that you feel the love that envelopes you. Hope that you know how valuable you are.

These are precepts that I live my life by. Kindness, love and value. I enjoy being kind, showing love and seeing others as valuable. But I am frustrated right now with myself. Here's the scenario:

I went to church for a meeting this morning. We meet before church to support each other as we are all undergoing some major spiritual learning experiences. I sit in these meetings, get caught up in the Spirit of the discussion and share my heart and thoughts freely. I am committed to becoming the best version of me. My desire to understand great and holy wisdom takes over. If I am understanding what is going on, I contribute. If I don't understand what is being said, I sit there with a confused furrowed brow. My confused furrowed brow seemed to frustrate someone I value and respect, the leader of the group. My expression shares my heart. I have no idea how people "smile while your heart is breaking." This is not a skill of mine. Happy=Smile, Sad=No Smile, Frustrated=Pursed Lips, Contemplative=Tapping my forehead with my eyes closed. I didn't understand what the moderator was saying, or the questions he was asking. I tried to get some clarification, but the energy shifted in the room as I searched for the clarity. I wanted to receive the pearls of widom he was offering, but my synapses were not synapsing. I was having a Menopause Moment. Clarity was escaping me.

I sensed that I offended the wise man who was leading the group, and he has the patience of Job.
My only agenda was to understand and be loving. Epic Fail. Or an Epic Opportunity to Learn a Lesson. I choose learning the lesson.

So I live my life to Love. I want the world to receive Love from Spirit through my heart, my words and my actions. Spirit is the life source of Love. I have learned that in relationship, any kind of relationship, we tend to mirror each other. Sometimes we look into the mirror of each other and compare our reflection to what we see in the other. As I carry around my little basket of love, dropping it hither and yon, those who need it most, are the one's most often offended by it. It's an interesting and challenging cycle. When we are feeling our least loveable, we need Love the most. If someone tries to give us love when we are feeling our least loveable, we judge tham as crazy for their willingness to care for us. How harshly we cast judgement on ourselves. The illusion is this:
It is easier to believe someone is crazy if they want to love us, than to believe that we are worthy of love when we are the least beautiful version of ourselves. No wonder I have been called crazy so often in my life. I just want to love people, and it freaks them out. I have googled crazy more times than I can count, and I was tested for crazy. It came out negative. Just a little depressed.
Do I back off on the Loving? Become more like everyone else? Less like the real me?
These are my thoughts, but are clearly not options for me.
I may not win any popularity contests, but hey, Jesus wasn't concerned about being popular. He just wanted us to get the message to Love One Another. As long as I don't let Jesus down or tick Him off then I am happy.

I apologize for offending anyone today.
The flavor of crow is always better with a side of Compassion.
May Your Happiness Guide You Always,
XOX
Laurie

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

Today is the day I am becoming smoke-free. The vice clamped around my head and neck is cheering me forward in this new lifestyle. Migraines and physical pain in general are tough teachers. I've been trying to love this migraine away for 4 days. This migraine must really be hungry for love, for it's hanging on.

I was laying in bed last night perusing how I am going to break up with this cigarette habit of mine. I have been smoking 2 packs per week. So it's not too bad, but it is a well honed habit none the less. How do I re-train my brain? Do I follow others advice and substitute another habit for this one?(Which seems to negate the intent.) What do I do when I go outside to throw Teddy his ball?

I've realized over the past year that smoking for me was something I did to ease the loneliness I felt. The cigarettes became my little-white-stick friends who were always happy to see me. They let me touch them, and I could see the union we shared in the smoke I exhaled. I realized it was a lie, yet the habit remained. Smoking for me was also a subconscious attempt at squashing my own power. Punishing myself for being bright, insightful, creative and a catalyst for change. I had learned over the years how much people admired these qualities in me, yet they repelled the very people attracted to me. I punished myself for being me by starting smoking when I was 42 years old.

I must identify the things that keep this human experience worthwhile. So, I write this list for myself, will have it copied and laminated, and carry it with me, so I can refer to it every time I desire to punish myself for my beauty. So that I can honor my body and become and remain cigarette smoking free.

My Favorite Things About Being Alive

1. Kissing.
2. Being Happy.
3. Writing.
4. Being Love.
5. Laughing
6. Being Me.
7. Touching.
8. Owning my gifts.
9. Being touched.
10. Feeling my power.
11. Helping people find their humor.
12. Walking in the rain.
13. Painting.
14. Making Love.
15. Making jewelry.
16. Make-out sessions.
17. Wearing jewelry.
18. Taking the hand of someone I love and tracing the veins in their hands and arms with my fingers.
19. Putting together fun outfits.
20. My hair.
21. Being a Healer.
22. Singing.
23. Feeling the wind on my face.
24. Playing the piano.
25. Feeling the sun's warmth on my skin.
26. Being intelligent.
27. Sitting in front of a roaring fire.
28. Watching movies.
29. Looking at the moon and stars.
30. Crying when I am happy.
31. Playing in the ocean.
32. Learning from everything which is uncomfortable for me.
33. Walking the beach, looking for shells.
34. Cuddling.
35. Sculpting.
36. My Family.
37. Doing Raku in my garage with my sister.
38. My 4-legged friends.
39. Hearing peoples stories.
40. Playing in the snow.
41. Smiling.
42. Hot chocolate.
43. Letting someone go before me in the checkout line.
44. Pizza and red wine.
45. Smelling good.
46. Trees.
47. Falling in love for the very last time.
48. Feeling safe.
49. Feeling strong.
50. Feeling Loved.

Well, that was fun, and helpful. Yes, I encourage every one of you to write down the reasons you enjoy being alive. For you will find as I did, that the reasons for creating your joy are much more compelling than the reasons for sacrificing your joy.

Have a beautiful day. Play more, blow some bubbles, fly a kite, be silly with a child.

Don't Postpone Joy!

Love and Light,

Laurie

A Fisher of Men

Good Day Humankind!

Was yesterday especially challenging/gift-laden for anyone else?

Whew! Yesterday was a doozy. My eyes are still puffy from crying last night and whining with humor to my sister. Thank God for New Beginnings!

Anyway, today I am going to share something very personal with you. I have had a post, or a "want-ad" as I call it, on a web site called Plenty Of Fish. It's a free internet singles thing, where you can view other people and their commentary about themselves, and then message them if you "feel a connection." I've been on the site for 13 months and it has been quite interesting. Yes there are plenty of fish in the sea, but I am watching for someone who is going in the same direction I am, someone who can keep the same travel rate and rhythm while swimming next to me and someone whose life is a light-filled smile.

Succinct, not being one of my strengths, at least with writing, I wrote the following posting of myself. It's some insight into how I see life, relationships and myself. It's just a glimpse, and I hope it helps you feel as if you know me a little better.

Thanks for your time. It's the one thing we can't buy more of.

Taste the Rainbow,

XOX

Laurie

Post:

I love living in and expressing Spirit-We are all the essence of God, and what we do to the part affects the whole. It is time we stop raising hell to our beautiful planet, and master the art of Lowering Heaven. To discover Peace in our world,we must first venture forth to establish Peace Within. If you do not resonate with these truths, then I'm not your girl. If they strike a chord of harmony in your Spirit, please read on. I am not religious, but Spiritual growth is my very breath.

Things I've come to understand:
1.)If a guy wants to spend time with you, he'll call and make himself available to you. If he likes you, he'll call until he reaches you. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PERSISTANCE,WE APPRECIATE IT!

2.)If a guy doesn't call, then let him go because he's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU(Yes, from the movie-rent it and view it-all y'all). The more a woman sinks her claws into a man who is trying to pull away, the stronger the man's desire to RUN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. So, if you guys want to go , then go, just please say good-bye, even if you have to do it from a distance.

3.) Some guys think they are being kind by NOT telling a girl they aren't interested in her. THIS IS NOT KIND, IT SHOWS LACK OF INTEGRITY & CHARACTER. This is not permission to be mean, just say something sincerely kind to her, perhaps a quality of hers that you admire, and then slide in the fact that the chemistry just isn't right. That you both deserve more, and then realize THAT IS THE TRUTH! ***BONUS*** HONESTY=GOOD KARMA! Yeah You!

4.)Time and Gravity spare no one-guys included, and weight and gravity have a way of creeping up on most people. Nothing stays where it started, and some times padding grows in well-used areas. People are as diverse as snowflakes and each one has it's own unique beauty. Try something new, or old, or "out-of-the-box". !*!Magic happens when you take risks guys!*!

5.)Some women get an e-mail from a guy and go from A-a simple hello to Z-married and living happily ever-after. We know that scares the h^*^l out of you, so we try to keep our glowey excitement to a minimum. Try not to let it freak you out too much, we are thinking you are our Prince,so this gives you home-field ADVANTAGE. There are many worse things she could be imagining than that you are of royalty. This gives you an opportunity to be charming and sweet. This is not a game we are playing, it is a twisted form of perception drilled into our heads from day 1 by the cartoon industry. Some women WANT to believe that if you love a beast enough he will turn into a "PRINCE", and that even if we see ourselves as cinder-wearing-unworthy our Prince will come....aahhhh...... If you want to take issue with this, contact the company that propagates this BS. Otherwise, enjoy the dreamy look in our eyes, and just enjoy the delusion we are entertaining. We really do know fact from fiction, it's just fun to be silly Princesses sometimes!
*
When the right guy arrives I will cherish and spoil him....forever.(Happy little princess glowing smile!)
I am a Peace Midwife. Just now becoming strongly aware of the Priestess Power within, and am into wielding my magic to eliminate the illusion of our separateness, uniting us All in the enchanted aspects of our individuality.

If you are interested, message me, and LET'S GET TOGETHER. Will happily amuse you with my witty writing skills, but meeting and actually having fun is the big excitement here. So who's bold enough to go for it? I'll even pay my own way, if I have someone to be silly and laugh with. And , (I hate having to say this) you should understand- I do not do sex as a sport. I've been there, done that,and want more. Yep, another woman holding out for true love. Won't apologize for it, take it or leave it, "Next." I know what I like , and know how to make a man feel 16 again, and again and possibly again.

So enjoy me or leave. It's all good. The right One will get this, and even possibly find it amusing. My goal with this description is to attract The Right Man. One who is committed to spiritual growth, owning his true beauty, wearing his magnificence, and being the brilliant Super-Nova You Are. And you know who you are........

I am a tree hugging,peace seeking ,make love not war kinda girl. I am smart,
and have a great sense of humor,undercover-part time spy and needing a reliable ally.Turn-coats need not apply. I live life from a kind,honest,integrity filled place, grounded in the now,now,now..... Integrity and kindness seem to be precious commodities in todays world. I am four leaf clovers on a magic knoll, the smell of night jasmine in the moist heat of a summers eve, I am the dragon charmer who can convince the dragon to bring forth life from his fiery spirit, I am the line of ants that have no idea where the lead ant is headed but enjoy every step of the journey with my friends, I am the skies irridescent birth of a new day, I am the skeletal remains of every leaf creating a fairy laden star, I am a woman who knows that kisses aren't promises but are precious delicious momentary bits of enchantment, I am the Pan who doesn't refuse to grow up but has no desire to let go of the magnificent charm of innocence,and I protect it wildly,I am the mermaid that has helped sailors rescue themselves for I am wise enough to know that you cannot save someone from the fate they have chosen, I am a part of the sacred circle of all that is mysterious and enchanting and realize that I am as special as the next prince or princess. I am the maiden that needs not to be rescued but to be enjoyed
and cherished, I am the urn that holds the fairy dust that sprinkles joy and hope on the world every moment of every day..
And I am the girl seeking her Enchanted Love.

Thanks!

Collaboration with Destiny

"One meets his destiny often on the road he takes to avoid it."
-French Proverb

"Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you will reach your destiny."
-Carl Schurz

Yesterday was a testimony to the humor of the universe. My little sister had a birthday yesterday. I burned 2 cakes trying to make something wonderful for her, for she is wonderful. I cussed like a sailor. I stepped on the cat's already injured foot. I cried when a man offered to love and protect me. Oh how humbling this human experience is.

In his book "Your Sacred Self" Dr Wayne Dwyer writes this about the experience of becoming self aware:
"You will experience and enhance the meaningfulness of coincidences. You become aware that there are no accidents in this intelligent system. You realize that everything that shows up in your life has something to teach you. You appreciate everyone and everything in your life.
With increased awareness that there are no coincidences, you beginto rely on your sense that seemingly unconnected events have meaning. You even begin to create these situations as you need them. You start to know you are partner with fate rather than its victim. Ultimately you come to manage your coincidences and become fate's collaborator."
(Emphasis is mine.).

So we have a hand in our destiny. Our thoughts, which inspire our actions, influence our destiny. The rate at which we meet it. The ease with which we meet it. The ability to embrace it.
These are all midwifed into our lives by our choices.

Does Destiny exist? Yes.

Does The Universe, God or Holy Spirit offer us signs to help guide us to Destiny's birth in our lives? Absolutely.

Do we have the option to overlook the signs and stay committed to our distracting human agenda's? Freely.

Will we still meet with our Destiny if we try to avoid it? Yep, it will keep coming around until you get the message, and the more you resist it, the stronger the signs will become. Some people need a 2X4 to awaken to their destiny. Some need to fall into the same pothole over and over and over again before they gleen the message.

If we pay attention to the signs will we meet with our Destiny in a kinder, gentler embrace?
Without a doubt.

Our Destiny is to awaken to the signs. Our Destiny is to honor the signs. Our Destiny is to embrace our Magic. Our Destiny is to Become the Magic. With magic as the only needed weapon in our arsenal of Love, we remember that we are the creators and the creation. We are powerful in Love.

So why do we resist the ineveitable? Why is it so difficult to see what is before our very own eyes? Our perception and belief systems have been trained to allow failure thinking to override our Divine perception. Falure thinking has served us as a species. Urging us along spirits evolutionary outward spiral to embrace new ways of exploring and perceiving our physical and spiritual thrival at each spiral turn. We have been taught to readily accept the "bad stuff" about ourselves and overlook the good. Not only do we willingly believe the lies of our unworthiness, we allow ourselves to marinate in them. We invite the untruths to permeate every ounce of our being, so we can support the unkind belief system we are participating in. The opportunity to undo these thought paradigm's presents itself to us in every moment. Our innately Divine nature has the power to override all patterns that are without love. The moment we chose to embrace the divinity within ourselves, we surrender our painfilled agendas. There is no darkness in the Light. Light will always over power the dark. Stand in a lightfilled hall. Open the door to a darkened room. Does the darkness come pouring out, or does the light go streaming in? This is the key to infusing our nature with our own light.

"We have the choice between defining ourselves by holy concept or damaging definitions."
- Authors Margaret and David Hiller

"We sow our thoughts and reap our actions. We sow our actions and reap our habits. We sow our habits and reap our character. We sow our character and reap our Destiny."
-Unknown

So believe you are magic , and you will be. Tell yourself repeatedly:
The power of universal creation participates in my holiest dream and my holiest dream participates in the power of universal creation.

"It's in our moments of decision when our destiny is shaped."
-Anthony Robbins
May God and Legions of His Loving Angels touch our hearts and our eyes, so that we may see the signs, and the courage to honor them, so we may honor ourselves and God as He is a part of us.

Peace, Love and Laughter to you all,
XOX
Laurie
P.S. Please pray for me. I am becoming smoke free this Saturday. New beginnings rock!

Switchin' It Up......

Good Morning my Starshine friends!
Today's blog: Creating Fantasies.....................

For many years I believed that if I loved people the way I wanted to be loved, then I would find (dreamy twinkle in my eyes) True Love. So I went through life giving love the way I wanted to receive it. I was telling my fantasies to the world through my own actions, and it attracted very few. I would dream of the right and perfect man saying just the right words, in just the right way with just the right look on his face......and it would all flow impromptu from him without any guidance from me. Oh, how I believed that the right and perfect one for me would already know my needs. Indeed, he would be ready to make me the Sun in his universe, and his life would effortlessly revolve around me. How happy we would be, he would be the milky way galaxy and I would be his centered ball of fire, and together we would be happily ever-after!
I even had a list of questions, and a secret answer list. He would know the code words, and would be able to respond perfectly if he was the right and perfect one for me. I lived alone using this illusion to guide me into love's true embrace.

Then, in 2008, I went to work in Rhode Island. Above mention mission: ABORTED.

In RI I worked with some of the most intelligent and organized people I had ever met in a single group. They worked together with rhythm, in a well orchestrated symphony of patient care. Though many times, they forgot how important each other instrument was, they got every one of the patients cared for, and there was a great deal of laughter. What I longed to give them all as a gift was the knowledge that A single instrument, a symphony does not make. We must work together in harmony, in a way that complements the gifts of the other musicians around us. That rich blend of energies would weave joy and true healing into the care they provided.

Affection is a social joy of mine. Growing up in a small italian familly in south Jersey, I learned about touch, and how to talk with my hands. I am a huggy-kissy kinda girl, and those around me knew they were loved. In RI I worked with a wonderful woman named Barbara. When I first worked with Barbara I hugged her throughout the day. As I hugged her, she apparently had that look on her face as if she had just smelled(?smelt) some really bad camembert cheese. I had no idea, her stiff body should have been a clue though. After working together for 3 days Barb took me aside, and kindly told me I had to stop touching her. She didn't see herself as a "hugger", and she didn't like hugging.
Huh? Come again? So I commented:
"Sorry, but I think I just heard you say you didn't like hugging, is that correct?"
"Yes, but not just hugging, touch in general is uncomfortable for me," Barb replied with a genuine smile. "Please stop touching me," was her true request. And I honored it.

Integrating that was a great challenge. How could this be? Love=Affection Affection=Joy so Love=Joy with Affection. Isn't that the mathematical set up of this system? Then the wise words of Faith Hill hit me: Love must be tailor made. Had I sung this very phrase with Faith before? Yes, often.
Did I get the depth of meaning it held? Clearly, not at all.

Suzie or, Suzanne as she likes to be called, my dear friend told me that love is a choice. So RI Barb was requesting love tailored to her liking, and I chose to give it to her. It was a hard habit to break. Actually, many experiences in RI changed my life.

As I integrated the tailoring of love, I realized how profound it was. Love indeed is a choice. Within the sacredness of loving we commit to discovering how the people around us desire to receive love. Everyone perceives love differently. The nuances of how we individually need to receive it is the opportunity to tailor make our love. It takes time, communication, GREAT listening skills and observation to understand how each person wants and needs to be loved. It is a grown-up undertaking, and is not for the faint of heart. It is a courageous act, which involves vulnerability, acceptance and is without condition. We chose to give this person love inspite of their strengths and because of their weaknesses, inspite of their courage and because of their vulnerability, inspite of their beauty and because of their imperfections.This is Enchanted Love(great book by Marianne Williamson, folks!)

I want to experience Enchanted Love. I've had a couple of opportunities to practice it, alas, most people are stuck in a place I've been: They don't know how they need or want to be Loved.
Ideally, we would all grow up with our needs tended to faithfully, and we would be convinced that we are the sun in our own universe. This kind of child rearing is rare. Unfortunately, we tend to believe as I had, that someone elses value of us is what brings us joy. When they no longer value us, we lose our joy. The realization that I had to become the sun in my own universe, because my life truly revolved around me and my thoughts, was an epiphany. Taking the time to figure out what love looked like to me was hard work-worthwhile- but hard. It meant I had to take inventory of the Real Me. I had to learn to love and give love to the Real Me. I had to accept all my self-perceived flaws, forgive myself for falling short of my standards, trust that I can make my life right no matter what happens, and to relax into my own skin. Though I have done a decent amount of exploration within, I realize how much there is still to learn.

Do I know that I am capable now of chosing to love the right and perfect one? Absolutely.

Am I able to remain the sun in my own universe while honoring someone else's ability to be the sun in their own universe? Positively.

Am I grown up enough to realize that I have to specifically ask for romance the way I want it, passion the way I need it, and Love in the way that charms my heart, mind and soul?
Yes. A resounding Yes.

I see us all in a world of creativity, passion and joy, a place where we can just be, and just being real is enough.
For as we learn to love ourselves, we then can love our neighbors.
And isn't this why there is not just one of us on this planet?
Love and Passion,
Laurie

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcWQIsG9Rqw Please watch and receive it's gifts.

Side Effects

With a little help from my friends, I have learned important life lessons. Marianne taught me that emotionally, there is only fear or love. All behavior and thought is generated by one of these two choices. Eckhart and Margaret taught me that the experience of fear, anger or frustration is a beckoning from within to address an unhealed aspect of myself. The ego is our ability to rationalize our less than divine aspects. Buddha taught me that
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought."
Jesus taught me that in order for me to love my neighbor, I must first love myself. Gandhi, or Gan as his closest friends called him, taught me
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
And God taught me that I can only be my brothers keeper, when I realize that I am my brother.
So tonight I will address an issue that has helped me keep my arrogance well honed, and my ego smiling.
The pharmaceutical companies.
I have been an RN for 25 years. I graduated from FSU in 1985, Sigma Theta Tau, in the top 5% of my class. Although I had become an extraordinary co-dependent early in life, becoming a nurse nearly perfected the belief I held in my life: I could fix everybody's problems. It didn't matter if they were emotional, physical, spiritual or mental. I was a Co-Dependent Super Hero. There was a huge red "C" emblazoned on my chest, and I strutted my intelligence with a swagger of cockiness. Manipulation was a specialty. Because I knew I could fix everyone else's problems, I viewed my controlling nature as a blessing to the community. And because I believed it, I succeeded. At least I thought I did.
Yes, many people were helped, even healed by my committment to outsmarting illness, and injury. My patients loved me, and I loved them, as much as I knew how. I had learned to confuse control and manipulation for love. I justified my self-righteousness as a nurse because I got such beautiful ego strokes from those I cared for. Except from my own children.
Children have a way of being your ego's biggest buzz-kill. And I mean that in the most loving way possible. My kids saw through the smoke and crackle of the illusion I had created and they called me on my shit. Repeatedly. My ego's white-knuckle hold onto my abilities as a Maestro of Everyone Else's Symphony was challenged daily by the truth of who I was, as reported to me by my children. God, they have been my toughest critics and greatest cheerleaders. I thank God that I was blessed with such confidant, and wise children. They have taught me volumes about becoming real. I was their velveteen rabbit. They believed I was real. Every day they would remind me of how "real" I was. My controlling nature was a "real" pain in their asses. The patience they extended to me is comparable to the Grace of God.
It took me 20 years of nursing to get the whole idea of medicine. It seemed to me, as I handed 45 year olds their 14 meds in a white cup, that these people were taking medications to treat the side effects of their other medications. Was it possible? Were my patients prescribed medications that required other medications that required other medications to alleviate the side effects of each medication? If so, when did the cycle end? Or did it? My heart and mind thought on these things often. I prayed for understanding. I prayed for the ability to conform. I prayed for the ability to be a good team player as a medical nurse. Then one day I saw someone else's committment to be right, take a patients life.
Was it illegal? No. The patient consented to it. Was it moral? To some it was the most moral and rational of decisions. Was it right? This is where I fell off the band-wagon.
That's when I started praying to be given the guidance to do the right thing. Right to God, not myself, not my colleagues, not the administration, right to God alone was my plea. I could no longer perpetuate the medicine cycle that was not only decreasing the quality of my patients lives, but was financially raping them blind.
Round peg, square hole wouldn't work for me any longer.
I attended a group meeting this past weekend. We are supporting each other in learning to ride the waves of life as they whip around us. I finally heard myself talking, as I was addressing the suggestion of "being gentle with yourself". I had heard those words more times than I could count in therapy. What the fuck does that phrase mean? It had eluded me for 29 years, as I had started therapy when I was 18 years old. That moment, in that group, I prayed for clarity on the idea of gentleness to self.
As I laid in bed tonight, before I fell asleep, I prayed for creative intervention in my thinking and my life. I awoke promptly at 1:38 am, and bathed my puppy. Don't ask why, for I have no idea. I sensed it was the right thing for me to do. As it is impossible to bathe a 60 lb puppy and remain dry, I showered while he was joyfully rolling his freshly washed fur on my pillow and sheets. It was in the shower that Side Effects crystallized.
If I was frustrated with the pharmaceutical companies, it must be an issue from within me that was asking for some healing. As I stepped out of the shower, I saw it. My life was filled with stuff to treat the side effects of other stuff in my life.
ie: I started smoking cigarettes at the age of 42. I have had 5 bouts of asthmatic bronchitis, chronic wheezing, weight gain of over 50 pounds, frequent sore throats, colds and migraines in these past 5 years. I own my own nebulizer machine. I have a variety of inhalers. I brush my teeth 4-5 times a day. I eat after smoking. I smoke after eating. My right index finger has the lingering aroma of an ashtray. I have to take "allergy" medicine for the chronic wheezing. I have to take daily medication to prevent migraines. I had 96 migraines in 42 days 4 years ago, and then had 12 migraines a month for the next few years, until I found a medication to treat the migraine side effect of smoking.
Ouch! As I peruse this cycle of perpetual un-gentleness towards myself, I start to make sense of where I am mentally and emotionally, and how I am physically. I realize that I have put a great deal of time into my emotional and spiritual life. I have invested very little in my physical health and or well being. I had repeatedly taken myself to the brink of physical bankruptcy, and continued to spend what was left of my body as if I had a do-it-yourself cloning kit in my garage. No wonder I had issues with those who extort the gifts they have. I have been totally guilty of this with my very own self.
Although I do not see all the side effects of all my less than kind self behaviors yet, I will. This has been an amazing eye-opener, for me. Interesting that I woke up for a wake up call. God is amusing that way. I'm sure as I investigate the side effects in my life, I will realize and manifest the practices and habits of healing them.
I envision a me which is healed, and
The only side effect of my life is joy.
With great Love,
XOX,
Laurie