In Our Hands

Painting by Henri Peter.
Writing dedicated to the lifesong of my dear friend Ron.

Howdy my earth family!

I tremendously enjoy a good thunder storm. In particular I like the way the air smells after lightening strikes, I've heard tell that it is the smell of ozone. Whatever it is, it smells clean and feels new, and I wrap the energetic gift around me like a well-loved homemade quilt. Oh how I love to listen to the rain on the windows and the roof, and the thunder as it claims it's well-earned power. It is an entrancing symphony of sounds that carries my thoughts across rainbows and over moonbeams into a world of Spirit where We Are One and Everything Is Possible. The zap of lightening seems to instantaneously change my perspective into that of miracle thinking.....within seconds I become anew.

I have been told that lightening moves from the ground up, in spite of it's appearance. Today I was thinking about all the tools we have as spiritual beings, as there is a current of spiritual awakening moving very quickly throughout all beings. Some of the goals of spirituality include improving one's quality of life. There are many manifestation guides available, yet masses of people are not yet becoming millionaires instantaneously. The gifts of the spiritual path often require time and discipline to see the "fruit of your labours" so to speak. For me and my life, I have come to know the four principles that will like lightening, change your perspective instantaneously, taking you from the ground perspective up to the heavenly perspective in a flash of light. I speak of four ways of seeing yourself and the world around you which yield miraculous lifts to one's spirit without the time factor. I have learned that as I understand, integrate and learn to use these gifts there is an energetic movement of light from my soul to God, the Source of All that is. And in that moment I can palpably feel His/God's presence, and KNOW our unity.


The first is the gift of generousity. This term used to bring to my mind the millionaire who gives loads of money away. Generousity is not confined to those with large bank accounts. We have at our fingertips two things that when given to others, increases our own value. Love and Time.....the two things that money cannot buy. Availing yourself to the service of others turns your atttention to that of the greater good, and quickly provides you with an increase in your own self worth. Giving without agenda is a sacred act which also free's you from enslavement to your own drama and or agenda. Being generously kind just for the sake of being kind also serves as a disarming tool in the presence of less than light filled circumstances. It is liberating to give without expectation. It is also essential that we be willing to receive with genuine joy. It is a beautiful cycle to witness as holiness pours forth upon all involved.

The second is the gift of respect. For decades I believed I was responsible for the actions and decisions of those around me. So I worked very hard to manipulate those around me. I ended up pissing those around me off. Besides creating walls in my relationships, I forced myself to carry a burden that was much too great for any one person to bear. When I learned to respect the life and choices of those around me AND learned to not take their choices personally, I was freed. I had become an indentured servant to my need to control, and was never satisfied. Being responsible for just my own decisions and actions felt like a noose being removed from around my neck. It is each beings divine birthright to live as they see fit. When I focus on my own journey, everyone else seems to move in more harmony, and I feel tremendously less burdened.


The third gift is courage. Being really present for another person was something I was good at. Being really present for myself, took tremendous courage. I had to own my shit, my poor decisions, my poor choices and the collateral damage they had caused. Being brave when you have the option to be complacent without any consequences is the true test of courage. We know ourselves. We can hide our truths from others but we cannot hide our truths from ourselves. Being brave when we are alone redefines who we are, and we then see our true power, Love- which lies within our very own heart.


The fourth gift is that of wisdom. As each of the other gifts are offered up to our potential, we gain wisdom. It is here in the space of our ancestors, and our wise selves, that we see the benefit of being generous, respectful and brave. This is the space of knowing our power, and using it to benefit the greater good of all life. Our stories, our experiences, our choices all have lent us the opportunity to know and teach. Sometimes a quiet teacher is needed of us. And then again, sometimes we are to be an out-loud example of what we have come to know. Willingness to stand up for what we know is our truth is empowering beyond words. Becoming wise is hard work, staying wise is even harder. Living without wisdom though, is unbearable for me.


These are the Four Thunders that announce the downpour of Spirit's infinite abundance. The moment when the sky opens up and newness pours down, letting our feet get wet in the beauty of being. Receiving each drop of newness as a kiss of hope on our skin.

It is there, within the storm of prosperity that we dance together, knowing only each other's beauty, truth and joy. Love is the symphony we move to, and it is in this space that......................................... We Are One.
Living The FourThunders connects us beyond forever.

I See You.
With great Love and Appreciation,
XOXOX
Laurie

Being Laurie, part 1/3

Hello Fellow Beings! Sometimes I wonder (actually often I wonder this), what it is like to be someone else. What it really is like to be inside their head. This morning I found myself responding, oh so non-succinctly, to a note from a dear friend. I was sharing some personal thoughts of mine, and decided to blog my letter. Clearly you can see that I am still learning how to wield power over this small machine in my lap, but until I become the Alpha machine in the house, this post will be divided into 3 parts, as when I tried to post it to BLOGGER Dashboard, it had too many characters. Is it possible to have too much character? Really?
Anywho. Here's a peak into a different part of being me.


Hi Sweet Annie,
I am in the state of evolution, and it is exciting and mysterious...that is new age code for I don't know what the fuck is actually going on, but I am sure it will all work out. You know how we volley new age lingo back and forth, correcting ourselves because: we need to be in the moment, be here now, but remember that we don't really exist, we are all just sparks of light, we can not say "not", because the universe doesn't acknowledge limited thought, yet we live in a limited body that has an unlimited mind, and we must evolve into light but we are good enough just as we are..........blah...blah....blah.
It's as if new age thought has become a dogmatic practice that needs to be strictly adherred to. Bullshit. I am tired of being corrected when I speak . The only dogma in Love is Sincerity. And sometimes I sincerely want to say not.

You asked what I am up to. I would have to say I am creating a different future.
I want to speak publicly, my Spirit is being drawn to speaking to large audiences. I am done being an RN, my body aches everyday, and I am done being a professional co-dependent. Yep, that's right, being a co-dependent is a requirement for nursing school. I am done taking care of and fixing other peoples shit. It's my turn, and working on me has been so much more rewarding and wisdom installing.

Being Laurie,part 2/3

I've been looking for some free-lance writing jobs on-line, but it is as if the job I am looking for hasn't been invented yet. I don't feel part of this world. Don't get me wrong, I am more content with my life than I have ever been, I just was created for the future version of this earthbound experience, and I haven't quite found or created my space/place yet. Sometimes I think that I was a middle-aged soul when I came into this world. That I picked this life, so that I could acquire as much wisdom as I could integrate as quickly as possible. I wanted to grow up Spiritually, in one lifetime. In general I know I have. I have been emotionally, mentally, energetically and spiritually preening myself for what is unfolding around and within me/us. We as a species are shifting and changing, and somehow my communication skills and wisdom will be used for blessing the world. I keep praying for the lamp unto my feet, so that I may know the next right and perfect step......illumine just an inch...show me the way......alas, I don't move forward in the world (getting a job-been unemployed since feb 2009), but I continue to grow exponentially spiritually.
I totally trust that God will show me the way, when I need to see it.

Being Laurie,part3/3

Until then, I keep writing, taking dictation from the Big Guy Upstairs, painting, and sharing with others. I have THE MAP....I just haven't met those who are looking for it yet.

I live in Myrtle Beach SC, but am acutely aware of my need to move 500 miles inland. They(my spirit buddies) keep reminding me of this. I think I am heading for Tennessee or Kentucky or Colorado, but still looking for that lamp to show the way.

I wrote a screenplay last summer, as I was INSTRUCTED vehemently to do so. They gave me the movie/film in my dream state, and then each character visited me to tell me their story. It is a coming of age film about an african american young man who is also Lakotah. It is a great story that was given to me. Because of the NTSA contest we were in, I met several producers and directors from LA, while 'networking' on fb. One of them is reading the screenplay now. He is part Lakotah, and he's cool. I really believe he is meant to be involved with the manifestation of "Without Shame", into a film. Until then I will keep paying attention to the signs, and moving forward.
I keep writing, and perfecting being me.
I think of you often Annie. If you need me please let me know. I am here.
May seeds of light bloom all around you, so that you may know your
beauty,
Laurie

At a loss.....

Hello fellow humans,

So the world keeps on turning on it's calliope adventures, and the human parasite threatens the beauty of the ride.
It is with such great sorrow that I write this note today.
It has been my dream since I was old enough to dream, to help midwife Peace On Earth. Yes, the dream was spurred by a family that knew very little peace, but I just knew there was a world out there waiting and ready to be awakened to it's own peace. Awakened to it's memories of Peace. Awakened to it's true essence-Unity in One Love.
Last week I had someone tell me that you can only build bridges where they are wanted. I have worked diligently to build bridges within myself, learning to span the divides between all aspects of myself and the acceptance of those aspects. It has been rewarding and vital to and for me. I know I can assist others in their own bridge building. Alas, I am beginning to see that most people's agenda's seem to be etched in the stoney tablets of their minds, and unfailingly override any loving instinct from their hearts. A bridge needs to connect two different areas, I,alas, am only one area. And a peaceful heart often does not reside within a body whose mind is carrying out anti-peace activities and thoughts.

There is an aneurysm in mother Earth. We have wounded her. The earth is our loving higher self, always assuring balance and stability. We, as humans are her ego. We have manipulated,divided, scarred and abused her. We, as her agenda filled mind, have masochistically abused her loving being-ness within an inch of her life. Our agenda was bent on destruction, greed and narcissism, and we have taken ourselves, as the earth parasites that we are, to the brink of Earth Home Bankruptcy-and perhaps the Universe will foreclose on our loan. I know Obama cannot bail the Earth out. Perhaps we chose to destroy our dear planet, as we were tired of our own lives, and I am guilty of this feeling. Perhaps it was a result of our anger towards ourselves, and then each other, for lives that were felt to have little if any good meaning. I am also guilty of this feeling. Whatever vehicle got us here, it is on the brink of global destruction that we sit. Yes, perhaps I am being over dramatic. But we have forced our own way into near obliteration, and it's time we understood why.
If indeed our planet survives this explosive oil aneurysm, we need to see how we got here. Or we will keep trying to destroy our planet, until at last we succeed.
All these years we have been duped into believing that nuclear holocaust would be our demise. All the while, swiss cheese holes have been drilled into the crust of our Earth home. Insidiously, like moles or gophers,weaving underground labyrinths of potential weakness into the very firmament that sustains us. How ignorant I have been. How do I remain aware of what is "really" happening in the world, and not feel so enraged by it? How can I use the passion of my rage to impact the real world with good and love? What is the up side of down to this situation?

I know what it is like to live within an ecology of self-harm. I also know what it is like to live within a synergistic environment that creates an ecology of love. I wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay. That leaders of all kinds can be trusted to act in the interest of the greater good. Unfortunately, some of these ideals have been based on illusion, not on someone else's actual integrity.

We exchange words throughout each day. "How are you?" we casually ask each other. How many of us really mean it? How often do we honestly reply?
Should the holy currency of words be written out as the sacred contract which they are? When we give a word-something to another being, we are living Namaste. We are bringing forth a gift from the sacredness of ourselves and sharing it with the sacredness of another. To offer that gift in sacred contract is a divine intention. Following our words through to fruition, and honoring that sacred contract is a holy demonstration of how in tune to Spirit our own contract is. To renig on that contract undermines any holy covenant we have with God, and creates a faulty structure of self. It falsifies your very being. You become the shifting sands upon which you are building the emotional, mental, spiritual, physical and energetic infrastructure of your being upon.

One strong gust of truth and the structure of you will come down.

As Spirit there is only Oneness....
Is that when I will feel absolute wholeness-
When the totality of me
can merge with the totality
of you?
Yet,
There is no physical sensation in Spirit.
Are we isolated without touch,
OR is it because of touch that we sense isolation?
Do we need this body to
travel the mental highways and
spiritual byways?
If we are human
for enlightenment alone,
then why are we asked
to love this body we are to separate from?
Or is the future separation of body from soul
that which urges us
to love it?

We are Spiritual Beings contained within a human body. Much like a Jeannie(gin) in a bottle we are trapped until touched, rubbed in the right way. That is when our true powers are unleashed. Our Spirit knows it's oneness. The skin of our body isolates our divine spark from the other aspects of Divine Spark. It is through touch, and ultimately lovemaking that we remember our oneness-
When we physically connect, our spirits are allowed to merge.
We are in our ALL power as Spirit. The body, the physical, gives us opportunity to know separation.....
and the joyful opportunity to remember our oneness.


Much Love and Light,
Laurie
Dedicated to Our Earth and Susan Boles, who helped me remember being real.

Old Days & New Beginnings

It's funny how the older I get, the older old gets. When I was a child, 30 seemed ancient.
When I turned 30, I realized that middle life probably didn't start until I was 50. I am less than 3 years from 50, and feel no where near half done with this living thing. I am perpetually amazed by the paradoxes of life.

The last month has been tough for me. Not only did I go through 3 important losses at the end of March, but I started learning how to value and love me. These are vital lessons I should have learned 30 years ago(OMG that seems so long ago!), yet, I hadn't. I learned that to love myself I must first fall in love with who I am. I must treat myself with the same honesty wielded with kindness that I would a lover and a friend. I must speak kindly and respectfully to myself and about myself, I must be genuinely intent on manifesting my own best interest, surround myself with people who share similar values and interests, and value the life that I have led. Ultimately, I chose to forgive myself for being oh-so-human and flawed.

There is not a day that goes by without me being acutely aware of how flawed I am. I chose to see these flaws as unique facets of my deep and interesting self. As a child I learned to always make peace in my environment. I owned that job for over 40 years. I no longer work to make peace in my environment, I work to make peace within me. I don't fight my truth any more. I realize the value in cutting my losses, even if that means being perceived as a bitch. I will not sacrifice myself for anyone else's peace or pleasure any longer, for I have raised the bar of being kind to me. To truly be an instrument of peace in the world, I must first master being an instrument of peace to myself. Thank God it only took 47 years to learn this, for it is so vastly different than the thought system I grew up with. Midwifing peace for myself is like giving birth to myself all over again. I am not always sure of how to do it, but I implicitly trust my heart, and follow it's lead. My heart is where the wisest version of myself rules from. My head is filled with a broken child's agenda of fixing everyone else. Hy heart is filled with the Spirit's graceful wisdom of divine personhood. Yes, being your truest version of yourself does make you seem transparent. Ah, but that is my goal. I say yes when I mean yes. I say no when I mean no. You do not have to read between the lines to understand me.
What you see is what you get and I am not a guessing game. It's the only way for me to be real. I will fight for what I believe in, I will protect ardently that which I Love. I will honor the battles I have won and lost. I will glean the gift that every problem holds for me in it's hands. I will surrender to my happiness. I will welcome Joy as my constant companion. I will blow bubbles when I want to. I will offer hugs, and give them when asked for. I will do cartwheels to amuse others. I will laugh at myself, and cry when the clouds of sadness hover overhead for myself and others. I will be best friends with my dog Teddy, and he will go everywhere possible with me. I will talk with and smile with strangers. I will seek original solutions to old and sometimes complex problems. I will talk with God anywhere and everywhere, and I will trust that He and the Loving Spiritual realm conspire in my favor at every given moment. I commit to conspire in my favor at all times, even if it feels like I am the only one doing so.

Being committed to becoming yourself can seem selfish. Yes, there have been many times when I have been self-absorbed. Looking out for and preserving my best interest is of the utmost importance. No longer do I impose my belief of right on others. I impose the belief of living what is right for me alone. This is the difference between narcissism and self-ish-ness. Securing me and my emotional investment is kindness. Wanting others to meet my agenda is manipulation- and that is one quality I gladly surrender to the ever present glow of Love's Truth in my life.

Thank You all for your patience. Honestly, I guess I am thanking myself, all aspects of me. For I lived so long without allowing all those parts of me to unite in the safety of being me.
I See You.
You are beautiful and radiant, shining as the irridescent testimony of a new day,
Much Love,
Laurie