Wow....I can't believe how much I really need the bigger font.....soon to be 49 and oh the changes in my body.......strange..I never really thought my life would go past 15...so almost 50 is kind of an odd concept.......how did I get here? , and then how do I get to where I want to go?
(reality now kicking in...)
Oh, goody, now I get to figure out where do I want to be? Who do I want to be? What is mine alone to do?? How can I be of service to The All through each and every one of my brothers and sisters? What are my talents, and how do I channel them to honor You Father God in the highest and holiest way? How can I contribute to my own happiness and SUSTAIN it with the delicate balance of courage and innocence?
I have fixed lawn mowers,dishwashers, garbage disposals, washers, dryers, car windows, replaced toilets, changed the brakes on my car, emotionally supported and financially taken care of a family for 25+ years, mostly alone, but with the utmost beloved company as God my father and husband of my heart. Of these things I am certain. He is in constant company with me, I just wish He would show up for me in male human form.....just a true friend....no booty call necessary.
My destiny stands in my periphery, always summoning me with a beckoning finger....and it runs my dream space.....there is work for me to do for the Magdalene......the expected one.....I want to grow in my love and devotion for you Father God do I need to go to France and study with the Magdalene Order to succeed?......I surrender all I am....every last bit of it it I give to You...just tell me what to do in an ordered and clear way, so that I may excell in every phase of my life. Am I to study the Magdalenes handwritten message?........I really want touch it.....for she is our mother, and I want to know her more intimately. Am I to teach? Am I to write? Am I to speak? I am listening...please help me hear You.
So I keep following the signs, and trusting that everything that shows up on my path is a teacher, and trusting that unless I am clearly instructed otherwise, I am going in the right direction. Help me feel fulfilled, cuz out in the physical "work world" I feel so out of place. I am absolutely at my happiest and most peaceful when I am writing, so Lord God, I count on You to send me an enthusiastic and successful publisher who will share the fruits of the love affair your Spirit has with my fingertips and the QWERTY keyboard.
It is Now April 2012 and I now realize that I need go nowhere to do the work that is mine to do. I have the winning lottery ticket to me.....all I need is to look within, and honor the Magdalene there. Thank God.
Am I slow, as in short-bus slow, or does it take most of us a while to really glean the messages that God puts in our lives? Oh well, alas, I am me....I learn at my pace and as the Indigo Girls so eloquently put it "learning to face your path at your pace makes every choice worth your while."
Amen.
Love and Light, Laurie
I have fixed lawn mowers,dishwashers, garbage disposals, washers, dryers, car windows, replaced toilets, changed the brakes on my car, emotionally supported and financially taken care of a family for 25+ years, mostly alone, but with the utmost beloved company as God my father and husband of my heart. Of these things I am certain. He is in constant company with me, I just wish He would show up for me in male human form.....just a true friend....no booty call necessary.
Secretly, in a place where only one other being dwells with me, I am fulfilled spiritually, yet there is this enormous, huge, giant, humungous physical, mental, emotional and energetic space that I am having some trouble filling alone. The fun part is that I get to figure out how to fix this on my own. I have felt so elevated and loved in Spirit, that no ordinary man would ever do for me. I must have extraordinary. Am I spoiling myself? Yep,...but it is time for me to shine as me!!!! And as much fun as I am having, I have it alone, asleep or in my writing. And an obvious deduction, to anyone who may even remotely know me, would know that the more I sleep the more labile my sense of self. As if just by tuning out the world and tuning into me keeps pulling me forward onto this path, my "sleep escape" is a habit that I am ready to lose. I want so desperately to feel fulfilled that I physically ache for it. I have run from this longing for many years, which comically, has only perpetuated the hunger for said fulfillment. God help me find the paid occupational path I am to walk, sprint and run, for I feel so out of place in the "working world".
My destiny stands in my periphery, always summoning me with a beckoning finger....and it runs my dream space.....there is work for me to do for the Magdalene......the expected one.....I want to grow in my love and devotion for you Father God do I need to go to France and study with the Magdalene Order to succeed?......I surrender all I am....every last bit of it it I give to You...just tell me what to do in an ordered and clear way, so that I may excell in every phase of my life. Am I to study the Magdalenes handwritten message?........I really want touch it.....for she is our mother, and I want to know her more intimately. Am I to teach? Am I to write? Am I to speak? I am listening...please help me hear You.
So I keep following the signs, and trusting that everything that shows up on my path is a teacher, and trusting that unless I am clearly instructed otherwise, I am going in the right direction. Help me feel fulfilled, cuz out in the physical "work world" I feel so out of place. I am absolutely at my happiest and most peaceful when I am writing, so Lord God, I count on You to send me an enthusiastic and successful publisher who will share the fruits of the love affair your Spirit has with my fingertips and the QWERTY keyboard.
It is Now April 2012 and I now realize that I need go nowhere to do the work that is mine to do. I have the winning lottery ticket to me.....all I need is to look within, and honor the Magdalene there. Thank God.
Am I slow, as in short-bus slow, or does it take most of us a while to really glean the messages that God puts in our lives? Oh well, alas, I am me....I learn at my pace and as the Indigo Girls so eloquently put it "learning to face your path at your pace makes every choice worth your while."
Amen.
Love and Light, Laurie
