Mission: Peace on Earth

How's everyone doing?

Yeah I know. I've been going through some less than light-filled times, and being true to my journey with this on-line spiritual diary, I had to share the truth of my experience. To those of you who have been following me since the beginning, what I am about to say may seem redundant. I would like to clarify a few things, and share some remembrances I've had.

My dream since I could fathom the word dream, has always been to bring Peace to our Earth. When I was 5 I first heard the song "Let There Be Peace On Earth." It changed my life! To this day, every time I sing that song tears stream from my eyes. "Let it begin with me." Yep that's it. About 7 months ago I realized the key word in that song was "me". I started really contemplating how peace would begin with me....I worked for the homeless....I volunteered at my church....I had been an RN for 25 years and had given healing and love to many people....yet the efforts I had put forth didn't seem to help me see a world of peace around me. Then it hit me: How could I midwife peace into the world if I couldn't even midwife into my own life? Aye there's the rub.....it was time to go deeper down the rabbit hole.

Everything I learn I want to share. I had to find a way to share this information with the world, and prayed that those who would benefit from it would be led to it. I still pray for this. I realize that this is just a picture of my journey, not the only way to find inner peace, but my own experiences. If anyone else can learn from them or recieve a catalyst for their own growth as a result of reading my soul notes then ....YEAH!!!!!! For humans, it has been tradition to learn best from our own mistakes and experiences, but this is now shifting. I can feel it. The advent of self-help guru's guide us on our journey's, and though I am only my ownself-help guru, I offer to support your journey as well.

When I was very young I was offered two major lies to own for myself. They were 1) Innately as I am , I am unloveable and unworthy of love and 2) Innately as I am, I am untouchable and unworthy of touch. These were messages that were coming from the grown-ups in my life, and because they were my everything I believed these statements. For 46 years they guided all my decision, all my thought patterns and therefore my reality. Last fall I attended a Psyche K workshop run by Reverend David Hiller at my church. I had decided it was time to undo these lies, and David's program promised to permanently shift thought paradigms. I was in! Now, please understand, I have always been an excellent student at everything I studied. And my spirituality was not exempt from this study. I had never failed at learning anything. Never. So that Sunday afternoon I sat in the class, and when it was my turn to shift from the lies to ingraining the Truth into my cranium, well, I freaked out. Full on panic attack. I flunked the class. I couldn't do it. I couldn't let go in public. I was naked and exposed and visably stuck, as everyone else claimed abundance and peace and health. I couldn't speak. And therefore, I was devastated. My failure only served to support the lies that had guided me for most of my life. But then I did something really brave, I signed up to meet with David in a private session.

Through David's skill, patience and love I was offered an atmosphere were I was safe to claim my truth, and here is my affirmation that I recite to myself daily, and know it as my Truth:

As a beloved, divine child of God I am absolutely loveable and worthy of love, and I am absolutely touchable and worthy of touch, as a beloved divine child of God I am.

So I started building a new mental, emotional and spirtual infrastructure with these truths as my foundation. This on-line diary is my journey through the excavation and archeological digs of me and my life. I will remember and own my inner peace completely, for it is our divine Birthright to own it for ourselves. As I learn, so will you. We need only our self-acceptance and self-validation, for in the end it is only us and God. Accepting myself and all aspects of me will give me emotional freedom. Knowing that I tell the truth to myself, and that my memories are real will liberate me from the bondage of repeating my story. Once these two vital cornerstones are firmly in place, Peace will manifest effortlessly within and around the very strucure of me. My light will shine, and I will have finally.....

awakened with wings.

Much Love to Each and Everyone Of You,

Laurie

The painting at the beginning of this post is one of my watercolor paintings from over a year ago. It is titled "Awakening".