I was laying in bed last night perusing how I am going to break up with this cigarette habit of mine. I have been smoking 2 packs per week. So it's not too bad, but it is a well honed habit none the less. How do I re-train my brain? Do I follow others advice and substitute another habit for this one?(Which seems to negate the intent.) What do I do when I go outside to throw Teddy his ball?
I've realized over the past year that smoking for me was something I did to ease the loneliness I felt. The cigarettes became my little-white-stick friends who were always happy to see me. They let me touch them, and I could see the union we shared in the smoke I exhaled. I realized it was a lie, yet the habit remained. Smoking for me was also a subconscious attempt at squashing my own power. Punishing myself for being bright, insightful, creative and a catalyst for change. I had learned over the years how much people admired these qualities in me, yet they repelled the very people attracted to me. I punished myself for being me by starting smoking when I was 42 years old.
I must identify the things that keep this human experience worthwhile. So, I write this list for myself, will have it copied and laminated, and carry it with me, so I can refer to it every time I desire to punish myself for my beauty. So that I can honor my body and become and remain cigarette smoking free.
My Favorite Things About Being Alive
- Kissing.
- Being Happy.
- Writing.
- Being Love.
- Laughing
- Being Me.
- Touching.
- Owning my gifts.
- Being touched.
- Feeling my power.
- Helping people find their humor.
- Walking in the rain.
- Painting.
- Making Love.
- Making jewelry.
- Make-out sessions.
- Wearing jewelry.
- Taking the hand of someone I love and tracing the veins in their hands and arms with my fingers.
- Putting together fun outfits.
- My hair.
- Being a Healer.
- Singing.
- Feeling the wind on my face.
- Playing the piano.
- Feeling the sun's warmth on my skin.
- Being intelligent.
- Sitting in front of a roaring fire.
- Watching movies.
- Looking at the moon and stars.
- Crying when I am happy.
- Playing in the ocean.
- Learning from everything which is uncomfortable for me.
- Walking the beach, looking for shells.
- Cuddling.
- Sculpting.
- My Family.
- Doing Raku in my garage with my sister.
- My 4-legged friends.
- Hearing peoples stories.
- Playing in the snow.
- Smiling.
- Hot chocolate.
- Letting someone go before me in the checkout line.
- Pizza and red wine.
- Smelling good.
- Trees.
- Falling in love for the very last time.
- Feeling safe.
- Feeling strong.
- Feeling Loved.
Well, that was fun, and helpful. Yes, I encourage every one of you to write down the reasons you enjoy being alive. For you will find as I did, that the reasons for creating your joy are much more compelling than the reasons for sacrificing your joy.
Have a beautiful day. Play more, blow some bubbles, fly a kite, be silly with a child.
Don't Postpone Joy!
Love and Light,
Laurie
1 comment:
Now, nearly three years after you wrote this post, I imagine your list to be almost infinite, for no one can count all the blessings that enrich their lives: the opportunities that present themselves, the little joys discovered in a confidant's look or a stranger's smile or the sudden shaft of light streaming down between clouds.
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