I am the mer-angel to encourage you as you choose between sinking or swimming. Not literal, see as an analogy. Sinking has it's advantages.  Letting go of any illusions of control and having faith that you will not succumb to the unknown beneath you, can free you. For you will not perish, but new life will be breathed into you. Try not to judge one option over the other, for they are your options and are only being  presented to you in symbolic fashion. Swimming can be energy depleting, yet gives one the illusion of accomplishment, in it's constant repetitive motion. Perhaps flowing with the current of your life, and losing your need to navigate so fiercely would be an option as well. Like Floating on the still water interrupted periodically by it's swells. I am merely to be your cheerleader and can help as your safety net when you need respite. 

This is our journey. We are both student and teacher, cheerleader and quarterback, nights reprieval of day. There is a reciprocity that has started, and will gently unfold.

 

That was the message I received last night.

 

Todays message:

INNER PEACE

Trusting God/the Universe always in ALL Ways. Speak these words to your entire self:

I have peace of mind and heart.

I am infused with exuberance.

Affirm these truths on all levels of your U-ness.

 

Romans 12:11-Do not lack in zeal.

Sizzle with enthusiasm.

 

There is a silence into which the world cannot intrude.

There is an ancient place you carry in your heart, and you have not lost it.

Seek it's comfort and acceptance.

Open to it's voice, and hear your Truth speak to you.

There is a Holy place within you that sin or fear has never touched.

Solace from time's commands, losing yourself into your childlike wonder.

All of this, in this moment today, you now remember.

 

You Are The Light Of The World

 

Frequency of light varies. Used by His divine nature to attract those lost in their darkness, unto Him, the eternal source of Light.

Attraction to the light is strong in those who feel it's absence, and are awake enough to notice something lacking in their physical experience of "now". Some may need just a spark of light. Others will require a burning bush. Each of you has the Light Source within, emnating as Divinely ordained.

 

There is no judgement in the varying of light frequencies. For darkness cannot overcome the light, on all planes. In a darkened room, there is poor if any perspective. Light a match in that darkness, and the darkness is driven away. Nothing can be hidden , and perspective can be adjusted. Stand in a lighted hall and open a door to a darkened room, the darkness cannot come streaming out and overcome the light. The Light will always Illumine that which surrounds and beholds it.

For those who are attracted but new to the light, a small spark will draw them closer. Some of you are to hold that spark and honor it, for you are the Light Greeters. Those who carry the burning bush of light are used to attract all Light Workers and those in search of an expeditious  form of enlightenment.

Do not push energy. Do not pull energy. This is the state of ALLOW. 

Allow your light to shine, no matter it's frequency. No attempts to minimize or accelerate. Being in the sacred presence of your Light, non-judgementally, gives  Spirit permission to control the fire and light energy within you.

You are a Cultural Creative being open to spirit moving in, through and around. Inherently the artist of your life.

Cultural Creatives have a bigger awareness - that our life holds necessary significance. Our life holds purpose, and this awareness cannot be destroyed. Although many have chosen to work very hard to ignore it's yearnings.

We are the Light of the World, Christ's love manifesting through us. The Spirit of the Eternal God shines through us, even when all seems dark. We are allowed to feel the darkness so we can know our ability to transform it. We can change the shape and purpose of our darkness through our intentionality. As Light Carriers we have a knowing-of being part of the healing, loving and rebirthing of this world. We grow up to our purpose in the now. Blooming into our full magnificence.

 

In the Beginning, Divine Mind became Itself. Jehovah- meaning the Eternal Living. This represents the masculline side of our duality. It is the offering.

Then the Holy Spirit was brought into manifestation as a silent stillness. This manifests as the feminine, receptive presence.

Creation continually pours into and through us. Through Spirit we continually give ourselves over to remebering and manifesting both offering and receiving.

How we speak, write, behave and believe exposes the intentinality of our living.

As hard as we may try, we cannot take a vacation from our Spirit. For we have always been, and will always be. Allow your life.

Do not look for problems to solve. Experience the now,with it's  gullies and mountains, as a process to be experienced. Allow the river of your life to flow effortlessly through you.

 

Affirmation: Divine Spirit moves around me and through me expressing I am the Light of the World.

 

New ideas can only come through in a field  of receptivity. Affirm: We are a receptive presence for Divine and Holy energy to manifest through.

We are the ones we've been waiting for. To be present at this time, as a sacred witness for Heaven's manifestaion on Earth.

On earth as it is in Heaven. H.O.P.E.-Heaven On Planet Earth. 

Above information is for you, and many others, but as far as the intention it was given with, it was meant initially for you-all those who seek it.

If it makes sense good. Perhaps just a planted seed.  I just do what He asks, and try not to get into His way. 

It feels to me like God is offering you something firm and sound to stand on as you create the next phase of your life. And, that we were drawn together to support and assist each other, for I am just laying the foundation of my creation of me.

XOX

Laurie 

 

 

Seeing God

We had walked the walk.

We had felt the feelings.

We had withstood the battles and held our sacred ground.

We had been beaten, we had won, we had retreated, we

had forged ahead....

We let go

We accepted

We held tight to the truth of who we were,

 The Tribe Of Light on Planet Earth.

We breathed,

We tasted,

We loved

We hated

We dreamt

We sacrificed self for less than divine causes

We knew torture

We tormented

We slept through our beauty

We awakened in the the middle of the hell we created while

 we were numb to our power

We sang

We danced

We cried and cowered

We learned

We grew

And then we knew...

Our ability to create our life lies in the magic of every

 moment, fueled by our brutal self honesty.

En masse we ascended Heavens staircase to see His face.

 To sit at His feet and feel His life creating divinity.

Together we stood at the door to His Chamber

.

The lights went out and we were gently ushered into the

 room. We could feel Him. We could sense that we were i

n the Presence of someone so powerful and loving that 

wounds could be healed with His fragrance and Universe's

 could be altered by His whisper.

Then the Light streamed forth from over head nearly 

blinding us.

"Welcome Home!" we heard,

"Open your eyes and behold the 

Ever Living God!"

And then we saw it.....a mirror 

within a mirror within a

mirror........we held our hands 

up to touch the mirror, but

glass, we did not touch. Our 

hand was met by our own

hand, an eternal image of us

 reaching out to join past

present and future versions of

 who we truly are...

For we are God.

You are wise, beautiful and wondrously made.

Love and Light, Laurie

Hello Again....

Wow....I can't believe how much I really need the bigger font.....soon to be 49 and oh the changes in my body.......strange..I never really thought my life would go past 15...so almost 50 is kind of an odd concept.......how did I get here? , and then how do I get to where I want to go?

(reality now kicking in...)

Oh, goody, now I get to figure out where do I want to be? Who do I want to be? What is mine alone to do?? How can I be of service to The All through each and every one of my brothers and sisters? What are my talents, and how do I channel them to honor You Father God in the highest and holiest way? How can I contribute to my own happiness and SUSTAIN it with the delicate balance of courage and innocence?
I have fixed lawn mowers,dishwashers, garbage disposals, washers, dryers, car windows, replaced toilets, changed the brakes on my car, emotionally supported and financially taken care of a family for 25+ years, mostly alone, but with the utmost beloved company as God my father and husband of my heart. Of these things I am certain. He is in constant company with me, I just wish He would show up for me in male human form.....just a true friend....no booty call necessary.

Secretly, in a place where only one other being dwells with me, I am fulfilled spiritually, yet there is this enormous, huge, giant, humungous physical, mental, emotional and energetic space that I am having some trouble filling alone. The fun part is that I get to figure out how to fix this on my own. I have felt so elevated and loved in Spirit, that no ordinary man would ever do for me. I must have extraordinary. Am I spoiling myself? Yep,...but it is time for me to shine as me!!!! And as much fun as I am having, I have it alone, asleep or in my writing. And an obvious deduction, to anyone who may even remotely know me, would know that the more I sleep the more labile my sense of self. As if just by tuning out the world and tuning into me keeps pulling me forward onto this path, my "sleep escape" is a habit that I am ready to lose. I want so desperately to feel fulfilled that I physically ache for it. I have run from this longing for many years, which comically, has only perpetuated the hunger for said fulfillment. God help me find the paid occupational path I am to walk, sprint and run, for I feel so out of place in the "working world".

My destiny stands in my periphery, always summoning me with a beckoning finger....and it runs my dream space.....there is work for me to do for the Magdalene......the expected one.....I want to grow in my love and devotion for you Father God do I need to go to France and study with the Magdalene Order to succeed?......I surrender all I am....every last bit of it it I give to You...just tell me what to do in an ordered and clear way, so that I may excell in every phase of my life. Am I to study the Magdalenes handwritten message?........I really want touch it.....for she is our mother, and I want to know her more intimately. Am I to teach? Am I to write? Am I to speak? I am listening...please help me hear You.
So I keep following the signs, and trusting that everything that shows up on my path is a teacher, and trusting that unless I am clearly instructed otherwise, I am going in the right direction. Help me feel fulfilled, cuz out in the physical "work world" I feel so out of place. I am absolutely at my happiest and most peaceful when I am writing, so Lord God, I count on You to send me an enthusiastic and successful publisher who will share the fruits of the love affair your Spirit has with my fingertips and the QWERTY keyboard.

It is Now April 2012 and I now realize that I need go nowhere to do the work that is mine to do. I have the winning lottery ticket to me.....all I need is to look within, and honor the Magdalene there. Thank God.

Am I slow, as in short-bus slow, or does it take most of us a while to really glean the messages that God puts in our lives? Oh well, alas, I am me....I learn at my pace and as the Indigo Girls so eloquently put it "learning to face your path at your pace makes every choice worth your while."
Amen.
Love and Light, Laurie

Writing the Scripts of Our Lives

~We all write our own scripts for our lives, and we do so with each thought and action.

 If you want to be a hero in your life than find a heroine to spend time with. 

Taking "victim" minded people into your life will one day make you  their "victimizer"....

We create the roles and characters needed in the movie of our life. If we have an unloving agenda towards ourselves we will write roles and command forth those who will support and drive our own feelings of un-loveability. If we chose to have an agenda of love, openness and kindness to self then those supporting characters will also show up, helping reveal how truly amazing we are. When we need someone to play a specific part we draw them in. Make today the greatest version of your highest self. Feel free to re-write your script at every given now................................~

For many, MANY years I prided myself in being able to fix everything for everyone I knew. Yep, that's right, I was a co-dependent extraordinaire! I am sure this talent of my old self was the primary reason I became a nurse. Juggling everybody elses balls in the air was considered a "gift" in my head....until their balls started landing on my head....and at my feet.

I am me. I chose to be me. I can never be another person, can never think exactly like another person, feel exactly like another person, experience what it is like to actually physically "be" another, so how could I ever clean up their messes the way they needed them cleaned up? how could I ever learn their lessons for them in the way they needed to learn them? how could I ever make the decisions for them, without ever having had walked even one baby step in their lives as them? There came a time in my life when I had to let everyone elses balls fall...and take responisbility for my own. This may sound easy, but indeed, it was unpleasant and heartfelt painful. Everyone who had been relying on me to juggle for them quickly noticed. That's when in their eye's I became a "bitch" and a "let down".

Trying to live someone elses life for them and struggle through their mire of "baggage" made me feel like a hero, like a success. My self worth was dependent upon the way others saw me, the way others felt about me, the way others interpreted my actions. The World Class Other's Ball Juggler was how I knew my value. What a shock to me when I found out that no matter how well I juggled their balls, at some point they would meander out of my path, and thereby take my sense of value, self and worth with them.

This was when I learned the greatest lesson of my life:

I determine my value, worth and loveability by who I am to ME, how I feel about ME, what I think about ME and my actions, and therefore how I interact with the world around me as ME. So no matter who or what wanders in and out of my life I remain intact and whole and absolutely valuable, worthy and lovable and able to make my life right no matter what happens.

Then I had to take responsibility for the collateral damage my unkind thought paradigm had caused. There were others who had no idea how to juggle their own lives since I had done it for them.When I left them to figure out what to do with their own lessons, struggles and challenges I became "persona non grata", AND ***BONUS*** I had to learn to feel good about me in spite of their opinions. That point in my life totally sucked. Difficult, hard, trying, challenging...these words come no where near the depth of fear, frustration and anger I experienced. I had juggled their balls for them for so long through such difficult times, how could they be so unkind and ungrateful???? Unfortunatley it took a great deal of time to figure out that I had been doing them a great disservice. They needed to learn how to juggle their own balls, and how to manage their losses when the "balls came tumblin down" (John Mellencamp pseudo-reference for all you groovy people out there), and how to have confidence in their own ability to make their lives right again.

Having marched forward through that time yielded a new, holier and more solid me. forged by fire so to speak (which by the way I think would be an awesome name for a coffee shop- Forged By Fire). Everyday I am afforded the opportunity to go back to my original script thinking and acting.....pleasing others as the goal, by meeting their agenda's and expectations of me or choosing something more self kind. THANK GOD I now know that "be"ing me is the greatest gift I can give myself and the world around me. Trusting others to find and follow their own destiny is now a relief, although at times some of my stronger friends have to remind me when I slip into Juggler status.

About a week ago, I slipped into Juggler mode, or maybe I needed an instant "ego" boost so I created the situation to serve my ego at that moment. Either way, here is what I have learned:

We all write the script for our lives, including the supporting cast, that will meet our imagined "needs". If I am used to feeling like a victim then I will either attract a victimizer into my life, or attract someone into my life who will be invested in "fixing" me and my situation. Either way, they are set up for failure...for what I am really looking for is someone to help me continue to play the victim, and if that is my script, then no matter how hard you try to help me, one day I will make you my victimizer. If I need to feel in control then I will attract people who want to be controlled, or will become manipulative in my relationships, either way, I will force my need for control onto you and our relationship. If I feel unloveable then I will attract people who willingly degrade me, or I will act unloveable until, exhausted you will give in and admit that I just may be unloveable. We get what we expect. On the flip side....I chose to see myself as loveable so I attract people into my life who not only find me and my nature beautiful, but people who are in love with who they are as well, and together we fall in love with each other. I choose to see myself as a success, so I attract success filled situations and opportunities into my life, along with people who are on their own authentic success journey's, and together we create a world where their is enough success to go around for everyone to recieve and revel in.

Be You. Please. As you are right this moment you are beautiful enough, worthy enough, valuable enough, magnificent enough and lovable enough. Just sitting right there, breathing in and out as YOU....that's all you have to do and be. We are not here to act out some death defying feats to impress others. We are here to do what is ours alone to do. Finding someone who digs your journey as much as they dig their own is an absolute miracle. For those of you who have that someone I bless your love and light. For those of us who wait for that kind of companionship to find us I pray that we eagerly reach out to each other, and recognize our own inherent beauty within another, until we remember it first hand for ourselves. Love will claim us all, it already has. We just need to remember........

All my love to all of you,

Peace to your hearts and to the hearts of all those you love,

Laurie